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tuesday 2 am november 26 [TuesdayNov27,2007 \ 2.04AM]
i close my lids
my eyes still movin'
like each time we kiss

this? this is how i live
a steel drum floatin
like a hair that wisps
that wisps in the sun
and floats so lightly
once a day is done
and the day floats on waves
with the high tide pumpin night
to our enclave
where we smoke heavily
where fingers poke each other
steadily breathing whispers
down each others throats

i wrote this for you
the girl that talks simple
while i sit with you
the girl who holds on to me
and we're old not new
!!!

song 9 [FridayJan26,2007 \ 4.24PM]
[ mood | working ]
[ music | neil young ]

stopped to look around and saw
my belongings riding waves
off the coast below the stars
i was feeling very brave

lovely woman on the beach
writing letters to her ma'
crying, till she fell asleep
her blankets, they slipped off too far

struggling to right this wrong
i awoke her shining dream
she forced the letters in my palm
never did she think to scream

now im driving through the streets
watching as the birds fly high
wondering what she had wrote
within the papers on my side

now away from spanish seas
i found the house, its number nine
knocking twice, i looked inside
this girl's mother was a lie

boarded up and papered down
linen covered emptiness
nothing left but easy lines
covering the homestead's sides

wandering onto a train
i set to find a welcome bed
roaming through the country's pride
never to be seen again.

!!!

love [SundayDec31,2006 \ 4.55AM]
[ mood | worn ]
[ music | sigur ros ]

i was digging outside my home today and
between the thick sheets of snow
and the slabs of ice with footprints engraving
shoesizes and crooked feet and regular feet
and feet whose toes point out
i found it
the newspapers i had written
daily journals and fact sheets about myself and my heart
i found love today
i found love again
i thought it had drowned under the snow
suffocated and depleated

living in a cave i lost track of everything
just little trickles of water
dripping down the flat walls
dripping from above
id run and hide from it
clutching my books
books i never got to read
and tried to think up imagery while i ran

but there was no imagery
cause there was no light
there wasnt anything to imagine

digging outside the cave today
i found love

i was weeping alone when she found me
and i tried to display the love to her
convincing had to be done
" LET ME SHOW YOU!"
i had to trade this idea
i had to
i grabbed her arm and i pulled hard
but i would never hurt her
and there
at the gate to my home she saw love too

the cave was painted green and the floor
green and brown stripes
and yellow flowers in vases
and cases and cases
of pens and
misplaced
tickets to places
were falling from the ceiling
i swear to you they were fucking snowing
and we were crying and we kissed
like we had never kissed before
and distance was nothing
and loving was all
and there was not a single emotion
unaccounted for
and i found love
i found love today
while digging outside my home today.

!!!

my baby [ThursdayNov16,2006 \ 3.58AM]
[ mood | relieved ]
[ music | eluvium ]

when my baby is so pretty
i cant help but beg to paint her
i start to wish we'd lived the city
by the bricklined silver bankers

in our plaids and in our placids
with our blue eyes painted brown eyes
making children and then swimming
in the river by the common

and your cheeks all full of happy
full of red and blooming fully
with my arms all on your shoulders
and your kisses on my head

with our cable quilted knits
blankets green and brown and lonely
waiting for my baby's pretty bones
to come lie down beside me

in the city with the treelines
and the highway sleeping soundly
and the whole world's for the home-team
while we're fooling, getting drowsy.

1 comment / !!!

i need to make more art [TuesdayNov07,2006 \ 4.44AM]


5 comments / !!!

a parade for the empty [SaturdayOct14,2006 \ 3.08PM]
[ mood | exhausted ]
[ music | devendra banhart ]

beat in senseless cars
lined up across the lot
half covered with torn
wrinkled brown capes
that dont blow
even when the wind hums

death cars reeking of sliced
interior seats and armrests
hollowed out cushions
with the springs rusted through
and thin shining
cobwebs under the seats

dragged down the street
their tailpipes hanging off
siding gliding down the pavement
by the youthful rattling trucks

a parade for the empty
a sight to behold.

!!!

little bird [FridayAug18,2006 \ 2.45AM]
[ mood | amused ]
[ music | devendra banhart ]

i watched two moths
they flew between the cracks
of my bedrooms paintings
where the ceiling meets the wall
and when i blinked i noticed
there were not two moths
at all

but a stray grey winged bird
just chasing its shadow in
the night.

1 comment / !!!

groundwork [SundayAug13,2006 \ 2.39AM]
[ mood | optimistic ]
[ music | radiohead- idioteque ]

we have lay down the groundwork
for the loveliest time
we have given up hours
to this pretty debate

we have cast aside the pessimistic
and shoed away the weary
in search of our
beautifully thick
love

and as if engulfed by
the sleeves of torn and
hanging sweaters
or the wind off the coast
     so warm and so full

we will march through
the streets of rain
much stronger than the others
for you and i
     have lay down the groundwork
     for the most wonderful love

we have filled in the cracks
when they appeared
oh! so boldly
and we have swept up the dirt
when it is scattered
so lonely

for the times will come on
as they always do seem
to be all the most wretched
when you're left
without me

but all our trials are fixed
     worries, heartily shoved
we have lay down the groundwork
our groundwork of love.

2 comments / !!!

[ThursdayAug03,2006 \ 12.38AM]
!!!

[TuesdayMay16,2006 \ 8.08PM]
in celebration of the rain stopping this afternoon:





georgia avenue, lowell massachusetts, may 16 2006.
3 comments / !!!

yarn [WednesdayApr12,2006 \ 10.24PM]
im a ball of yarn
and there's little point to me
no beginning or
finish line
or anything like that

im just frail and pliable
a human oxymoron
and i live amongst others
different colors
and im overused and underpayed
and disregarded
everyday.
1 comment / !!!

[SundayMar19,2006 \ 8.42PM]
someday we'll have fun
with the moon and the sun
we will sing songs that rhyme
in the morning

we will play cards and sing
in the morning
all for free

and soon you and i will be free
girl, we'll go about into the sea
we will backstroke and scream outloud
please
oh in the sea

for freee, you and me, we will sleep in the day time
throwing bread at the birds and they'll sing
oh they'll sing

and someday ill fix that car
we will drive to the cities a'far
we will make love and hang off our seats
oh in the city
!!!

[WednesdayMar15,2006 \ 2.58PM]
hi. i just wanted to say that everything the boys write and post is incredible. and i always read it. and you should too.

love, erin.
1 comment / !!!

[TuesdayMar14,2006 \ 7.11PM]
[ mood | . ]

the streets are of fire, so the men said...
by ryan lalibery and josh croteau

we're loosing logic
but gaining speed and all the
clocks are set back
to make up for lost time
and im missing the old times
with the angst and the slivers
from my bookmarks
my lost health
my tin can razors
that sit in the cup
on the sink in my bathroom
these are the things we must speak of
i see small things
and hear loud things
i see the faces
of children
in the sleeves for my arms
in the curtains that blind us
through the grass on the farms.

its not just you - my razors are gone too
caked with blood, mine didnt touch my face
they didnt sit in the cup.
they didnt rust.
they didnt cut through either. i used pills for that.
so when you see the beard it was just cause those blades
were used for something else. its not just you.
its not just you, you know. im missing the old times too
but the new times are much safer. its her naked body
and the length of her hair. and her weight on me.
i see small things too and hear loud things too
and see children too.
but itsjust her parting mouth that lets those blades continue to rust
and those pills just go to headaches.

oh but i'm sure that its me
i havent slept still for weeks
there are aches in my joints
and the mail doesnt come till monday
this whole town is just littered
with such filth and with people
with their
germs and their troubles
well i have some here too!
there's a liquid frustration
it appears on my bedsheets
i wake up and im burning with an anger
with a strong heat
and it rips through my clothes and it drowns
out my thoughts
i dream of sinister nightmares
of little toys, bears and tops
father tells me that im crazy
that to him im just paper
just a blank sheet
for the making, for the turning
it angers
not to be true, not to speak clear
oh my burden is true
and at long last
im not sure
but i think that i know you.

oh is my burden any less?
my burden is true too!
oh is my burden any less?
is my burden false to you? well that could change
we could make our way across this street and say hello
we could collapse and drown in that liquid frustration
cause i emit it too.
and i admit that those times i cry i do it to myself just
to feel a little more alive. this only in my closest friends
would i confide
and the nights where ive wanted to die
oh my burden is true
and at long last
im not sure
but i think know it too

can i know it?
if you let it
should we depart unto a scene
full of pigeons laughing
choking on the dusty drenched ravines
with our bandages and papers
without our pride
for we have none
is there anything worth taking
can we still stop once we've begun
for if stopping
was an option
these times would end quite violently
with a wrinkle of my forehead
and a slip down by my feet
could i slide in front of traffic
without worry in my eyes
without fury in my arms
and with the moon still in the sky
i am ready if your willing
if its true it must be done
for this can only mean one thing
and i understand where you come from
for i live there
when i wake up and i know not who i am
when im full of angst and hideous
without any form of plan
we are brothers without much knowledge
but with far more thoughts then them
we will leave amongst the crazies
it is all that's left to do
we can pass the time in pure suclusion
a recluse, me and you

then lets.
lets go. fuck all this and fuck him and her and whoever
else says stopping is always there to take
i am ready if youre willing.
for we live among the shadows and dust
we can pass it together
and sweep it.
together.
i am ready if you are.
so heres to detailing our pain in poesy
heres to living without any form of plan
o' gleam gold medal. o' gleam.
we are the true champions of those empty.
the gonest of the gone.
the deadest of the dead on the inside.
on the inside.
on the inside of the earth lets rot and sleep the days of pain away
in discrete city streets where the mail doesnt come till monday.
indecency, the idiocy of our seamless falling downs.
then lets.
lets go.
a recluse, refused.
a refuge, me and you.

!!!

sorry to hear that. [MondayMar06,2006 \ 9.26PM]
[ music | angel in the snow waterloo sunset saegloplur oh me oh my ]

for keeps
keep to yourself carride
gray skys at night
men hit their wives
father
dont
the basement floor was haggard
with a superfluous vent
hanging up
phones
particalboard lifestyle
shame.

!!!

warmth [MondayFeb27,2006 \ 9.10PM]
[ mood | fucking cold. ]
[ music | spoon ]

how can this seem funny
it is difficult for me
full of angst
need the art to keep my
shirt sleeves clean
to dirty my fingers up
with paint and garp

it gives me warmth when
no ones around
i dont want no one around
id like my filling please
my share of lonesome
ill stay here
fill me with the warmth.

2 comments / !!!

i dream of you. [SundayFeb26,2006 \ 12.32AM]
[ mood | wonderful ]
[ music | cough cough and only. ]

i hope that you're sleeping
i hope you're at ease
take what you have coming
slope into a dream
cast off in the bedsheets
repeat verses afar
paint pictures on eyelids

i dream that you are.

3 comments / !!!

yesterday [SaturdayFeb04,2006 \ 12.02PM]
you know this is right by that one bridge.


2 comments / !!!

words of the painter [SundayJan29,2006 \ 5.54PM]
I.
dont end up like jon
working in a
paper mill

if you only knew how smart he was

2.
the paper mill smells horrible
and you smell
like the paper mill when
you get home
because you have sat in between
its walls for so long
you have
stood
in between its walls
for too many hours

and thought too many bad things
about the things
you will never see
things you never
saw
and things people told you
years ago
that are catching with you know
that are playing cards with you
asking you to talk to them
and walking home
down the dark and dreary
lonely and hectic
empty and blank
road

3.
the definitive chance
that brings you to your knees
begging for your mother
rips away
like a disease
you beg to leave this place
where the smoke pumps
through the seas
that does chin ups with the
clouds above
and gets up your nose
and makes you sneeze

4.
this is the last day i will last
the fourth part of my life
the final conclusion
a sudden elapse
this world
cuts like a
knife.
1 comment / !!!

today [MondayJan23,2006 \ 4.32PM]
[ mood | sleepy ]



yeah still here.
sincerely, winter.

5 comments / !!!

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