| tuesday 2 am november 26 |
[TuesdayNov27,2007 \ 2.04AM] |
i close my lids my eyes still movin' like each time we kiss
this? this is how i live a steel drum floatin like a hair that wisps that wisps in the sun and floats so lightly once a day is done and the day floats on waves with the high tide pumpin night to our enclave where we smoke heavily where fingers poke each other steadily breathing whispers down each others throats
i wrote this for you the girl that talks simple while i sit with you the girl who holds on to me and we're old not new
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| song 9 |
[FridayJan26,2007 \ 4.24PM] |
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mood |
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working |
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music |
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neil young |
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stopped to look around and saw my belongings riding waves off the coast below the stars i was feeling very brave
lovely woman on the beach writing letters to her ma' crying, till she fell asleep her blankets, they slipped off too far
struggling to right this wrong i awoke her shining dream she forced the letters in my palm never did she think to scream
now im driving through the streets watching as the birds fly high wondering what she had wrote within the papers on my side
now away from spanish seas i found the house, its number nine knocking twice, i looked inside this girl's mother was a lie
boarded up and papered down linen covered emptiness nothing left but easy lines covering the homestead's sides
wandering onto a train i set to find a welcome bed roaming through the country's pride never to be seen again.
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| love |
[SundayDec31,2006 \ 4.55AM] |
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mood |
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worn |
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music |
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sigur ros |
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i was digging outside my home today and between the thick sheets of snow and the slabs of ice with footprints engraving shoesizes and crooked feet and regular feet and feet whose toes point out i found it the newspapers i had written daily journals and fact sheets about myself and my heart i found love today i found love again i thought it had drowned under the snow suffocated and depleated
living in a cave i lost track of everything just little trickles of water dripping down the flat walls dripping from above id run and hide from it clutching my books books i never got to read and tried to think up imagery while i ran
but there was no imagery cause there was no light there wasnt anything to imagine
digging outside the cave today i found love
i was weeping alone when she found me and i tried to display the love to her convincing had to be done " LET ME SHOW YOU!" i had to trade this idea i had to i grabbed her arm and i pulled hard but i would never hurt her and there at the gate to my home she saw love too
the cave was painted green and the floor green and brown stripes and yellow flowers in vases and cases and cases of pens and misplaced tickets to places were falling from the ceiling i swear to you they were fucking snowing and we were crying and we kissed like we had never kissed before and distance was nothing and loving was all and there was not a single emotion unaccounted for and i found love i found love today while digging outside my home today.
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| my baby |
[ThursdayNov16,2006 \ 3.58AM] |
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mood |
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relieved |
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music |
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eluvium |
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when my baby is so pretty i cant help but beg to paint her i start to wish we'd lived the city by the bricklined silver bankers
in our plaids and in our placids with our blue eyes painted brown eyes making children and then swimming in the river by the common
and your cheeks all full of happy full of red and blooming fully with my arms all on your shoulders and your kisses on my head
with our cable quilted knits blankets green and brown and lonely waiting for my baby's pretty bones to come lie down beside me
in the city with the treelines and the highway sleeping soundly and the whole world's for the home-team while we're fooling, getting drowsy.
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| a parade for the empty |
[SaturdayOct14,2006 \ 3.08PM] |
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mood |
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exhausted |
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music |
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devendra banhart |
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beat in senseless cars lined up across the lot half covered with torn wrinkled brown capes that dont blow even when the wind hums
death cars reeking of sliced interior seats and armrests hollowed out cushions with the springs rusted through and thin shining cobwebs under the seats
dragged down the street their tailpipes hanging off siding gliding down the pavement by the youthful rattling trucks
a parade for the empty a sight to behold.
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| little bird |
[FridayAug18,2006 \ 2.45AM] |
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mood |
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amused |
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music |
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devendra banhart |
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i watched two moths they flew between the cracks of my bedrooms paintings where the ceiling meets the wall and when i blinked i noticed there were not two moths at all
but a stray grey winged bird just chasing its shadow in the night.
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| groundwork |
[SundayAug13,2006 \ 2.39AM] |
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mood |
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optimistic |
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music |
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radiohead- idioteque |
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we have lay down the groundwork for the loveliest time we have given up hours to this pretty debate
we have cast aside the pessimistic and shoed away the weary in search of our beautifully thick love
and as if engulfed by the sleeves of torn and hanging sweaters or the wind off the coast so warm and so full
we will march through the streets of rain much stronger than the others for you and i have lay down the groundwork for the most wonderful love
we have filled in the cracks when they appeared oh! so boldly and we have swept up the dirt when it is scattered so lonely
for the times will come on as they always do seem to be all the most wretched when you're left without me
but all our trials are fixed worries, heartily shoved we have lay down the groundwork our groundwork of love.
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[ThursdayAug03,2006 \ 12.38AM] |
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[TuesdayMay16,2006 \ 8.08PM] |
in celebration of the rain stopping this afternoon:


georgia avenue, lowell massachusetts, may 16 2006.
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| yarn |
[WednesdayApr12,2006 \ 10.24PM] |
im a ball of yarn and there's little point to me no beginning or finish line or anything like that
im just frail and pliable a human oxymoron and i live amongst others different colors and im overused and underpayed and disregarded everyday.
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[SundayMar19,2006 \ 8.42PM] |
someday we'll have fun with the moon and the sun we will sing songs that rhyme in the morning
we will play cards and sing in the morning all for free
and soon you and i will be free girl, we'll go about into the sea we will backstroke and scream outloud please oh in the sea
for freee, you and me, we will sleep in the day time throwing bread at the birds and they'll sing oh they'll sing
and someday ill fix that car we will drive to the cities a'far we will make love and hang off our seats oh in the city
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[WednesdayMar15,2006 \ 2.58PM] |
hi. i just wanted to say that everything the boys write and post is incredible. and i always read it. and you should too.
love, erin.
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[TuesdayMar14,2006 \ 7.11PM] |
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the streets are of fire, so the men said... by ryan lalibery and josh croteau
we're loosing logic but gaining speed and all the clocks are set back to make up for lost time and im missing the old times with the angst and the slivers from my bookmarks my lost health my tin can razors that sit in the cup on the sink in my bathroom these are the things we must speak of i see small things and hear loud things i see the faces of children in the sleeves for my arms in the curtains that blind us through the grass on the farms.
its not just you - my razors are gone too caked with blood, mine didnt touch my face they didnt sit in the cup. they didnt rust. they didnt cut through either. i used pills for that. so when you see the beard it was just cause those blades were used for something else. its not just you. its not just you, you know. im missing the old times too but the new times are much safer. its her naked body and the length of her hair. and her weight on me. i see small things too and hear loud things too and see children too. but itsjust her parting mouth that lets those blades continue to rust and those pills just go to headaches.
oh but i'm sure that its me i havent slept still for weeks there are aches in my joints and the mail doesnt come till monday this whole town is just littered with such filth and with people with their germs and their troubles well i have some here too! there's a liquid frustration it appears on my bedsheets i wake up and im burning with an anger with a strong heat and it rips through my clothes and it drowns out my thoughts i dream of sinister nightmares of little toys, bears and tops father tells me that im crazy that to him im just paper just a blank sheet for the making, for the turning it angers not to be true, not to speak clear oh my burden is true and at long last im not sure but i think that i know you.
oh is my burden any less? my burden is true too! oh is my burden any less? is my burden false to you? well that could change we could make our way across this street and say hello we could collapse and drown in that liquid frustration cause i emit it too. and i admit that those times i cry i do it to myself just to feel a little more alive. this only in my closest friends would i confide and the nights where ive wanted to die oh my burden is true and at long last im not sure but i think know it too
can i know it? if you let it should we depart unto a scene full of pigeons laughing choking on the dusty drenched ravines with our bandages and papers without our pride for we have none is there anything worth taking can we still stop once we've begun for if stopping was an option these times would end quite violently with a wrinkle of my forehead and a slip down by my feet could i slide in front of traffic without worry in my eyes without fury in my arms and with the moon still in the sky i am ready if your willing if its true it must be done for this can only mean one thing and i understand where you come from for i live there when i wake up and i know not who i am when im full of angst and hideous without any form of plan we are brothers without much knowledge but with far more thoughts then them we will leave amongst the crazies it is all that's left to do we can pass the time in pure suclusion a recluse, me and you
then lets. lets go. fuck all this and fuck him and her and whoever else says stopping is always there to take i am ready if youre willing. for we live among the shadows and dust we can pass it together and sweep it. together. i am ready if you are. so heres to detailing our pain in poesy heres to living without any form of plan o' gleam gold medal. o' gleam. we are the true champions of those empty. the gonest of the gone. the deadest of the dead on the inside. on the inside. on the inside of the earth lets rot and sleep the days of pain away in discrete city streets where the mail doesnt come till monday. indecency, the idiocy of our seamless falling downs. then lets. lets go. a recluse, refused. a refuge, me and you.
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| sorry to hear that. |
[MondayMar06,2006 \ 9.26PM] |
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music |
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angel in the snow waterloo sunset saegloplur oh me oh my |
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for keeps keep to yourself carride gray skys at night men hit their wives father dont the basement floor was haggard with a superfluous vent hanging up phones particalboard lifestyle shame.
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| warmth |
[MondayFeb27,2006 \ 9.10PM] |
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mood |
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fucking cold. |
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music |
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spoon |
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how can this seem funny it is difficult for me full of angst need the art to keep my shirt sleeves clean to dirty my fingers up with paint and garp
it gives me warmth when no ones around i dont want no one around id like my filling please my share of lonesome ill stay here fill me with the warmth.
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| i dream of you. |
[SundayFeb26,2006 \ 12.32AM] |
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mood |
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wonderful |
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music |
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cough cough and only. |
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i hope that you're sleeping i hope you're at ease take what you have coming slope into a dream cast off in the bedsheets repeat verses afar paint pictures on eyelids
i dream that you are.
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| yesterday |
[SaturdayFeb04,2006 \ 12.02PM] |
you know this is right by that one bridge.
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| words of the painter |
[SundayJan29,2006 \ 5.54PM] |
I. dont end up like jon working in a paper mill
if you only knew how smart he was
2. the paper mill smells horrible and you smell like the paper mill when you get home because you have sat in between its walls for so long you have stood in between its walls for too many hours
and thought too many bad things about the things you will never see things you never saw and things people told you years ago that are catching with you know that are playing cards with you asking you to talk to them and walking home down the dark and dreary lonely and hectic empty and blank road
3. the definitive chance that brings you to your knees begging for your mother rips away like a disease you beg to leave this place where the smoke pumps through the seas that does chin ups with the clouds above and gets up your nose and makes you sneeze
4. this is the last day i will last the fourth part of my life the final conclusion a sudden elapse this world cuts like a knife.
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| today |
[MondayJan23,2006 \ 4.32PM] |
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yeah still here. sincerely, winter.
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